Plan for the Future
A common misconception is that retirement villages and rest homes are the same thing – they are Not.
A retirement village is for independent living and usually for people in their 70’s who are active and want convenience, community and security.
A rest home is about care – it offers day-to-day health assistance when one requires ongoing support or 24hour care.
Not all villages have a rest home facility on site and not all rest homes are able to offer a rest home bed or a respite bed when you need it.
So, what happens when you become a little frail, can manage those day-to-day tasks but do find it a struggle and maybe no longer have the convenience of the car to get around but don’t want to lose your independence or rely too heavily on family, neighbours & friends.
The best time to think about how you will manage, how aged care may affect you, is well before it is needed. Having an enduring power of attorney for care and welfare in place is a good start. Be aware that some family members can become very difficult when aged care is discussed and they don’t want to lose ‘their inheritance’ on rest home fees. They could argue “stay in your own home, we’ll help you” and “well be there for you”.
The bottom line is to educate yourself in advance. The less you need to put into place when and if the time comes the more at rest you will be to enjoy your retirement years. Start the conversation before you have to. It’s a known fact that families who have discussed these difficult issues in the early stages are best prepared to navigate the way forward.
Tell your family what you want – perhaps stay at home with outside support but with family in the overseeing role, or move when the time seems appropriate. Most family members come with good intentions – many adult children gradually become carers without consciously deciding to and because the assistance builds up slowly it is not always recognised until it becomes mixed with heaps of other emotions – time off work, fatigue, financial pressure and even resentment.
The goal isn’t to remain in your own home at all costs, its about being safe, connected and independent for as long as possible. If everyone is onboard with your feelings, your wants and your needs any move can be a genuine positive experience for everyone.
Take time out to plan those what ifs. Discuss them with your family. Ensure they understand your point of view. Write down the facts if need be – then put it away in the bottom drawer and get on with life.
